Alabama Man Swims in Bass Pro Shop Fish Tank!

A dude in Alabama crashed his car outside of a pro bass shop and did a cannonball into the giant aquarium. He swam around for about five minutes before the cops showed up. He got out of the tank, yelled at the cops, jumped back in, and he was finally apprehended when he fell over the side of the tank trying to get out of the cage.

Dude. If you are getting that close to a fish, you're probably trying to do something nasty to it. Just be like a normal person. Use a dating app.

The Plenty Of Fish dating app logo

There's all sorts of apps for this kind of thing. There's plenty of fish, flounder, monger. That's three right there, bud. There's got to be more. Just don't make it so hard on yourself.

An ad for Monger, The Dating App for Fish People

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Exploding Toilet at a Florida Dunkin!