Jews Digging Secret Tunnels in New York City

Dude, in New York City, a secret tunnel was discovered underneath a synagogue in Brooklyn. And in case you don't know what a synagogue is, that's a Jew church.

Dude, apparently some of the most devouted worshippers built the tunnel as a way of expanding access.

a secret tunnel was discovered underneath a synagogue in Brooklyn

And when the synagogue officials heard about it, they tried to fill in the tunnel with cement, but they were met with protests from the tunnel people, and then the cops showed up, and that's when people started punching the crap out of each other.

A man being arrested for being at a secret tunnel under a synagogue

Dude! This isn't the best bad idea ever. Those secret tunnel worshippers? They could have made a ton of money. Dude, New Yorkers are always looking for some experiential thing to post onto their Instagrams. Secret brunch? Secret subway tunnels? Dude, do you know how many people would wake up early in the morning to get a cronut and stand in line to a secret tunnel at a Jew church?

Well, anyway, apparently now the structural integrity of the building has been compromised because of the tunnel. Well, no shit. You got a bunch of do-it-yourself rednecks like King of the Hill making some sort of Shawshank Redemption secret tunnel in their basement. Of course it's going to mess up the building. Dude, you don't got to be an engineer to know that one.

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